A Hundred Billion Failures Disappear

I have failed at so many things, that often times it’s hard to remember what I have succeeded at. Love. Life. Family. Foundations of every human beings life, and yet…. often times we seem to just get it wrong. Humanity. Human frailty… is such a damn, dirty business.

I wake up in the morning, every morning, thanking God for another day, and every night before I go to bed, I ask God for forgiveness for wasting the day given. I fail every single day, and it is beyond me on how God’s love and faithfulness still abounds. But it does. It’s a strange conundrum. A dastardly duty. But one God seems to be proud to carry out. He loves His creation, so much so, that He gave His only Son, knowing only HE was capable of the type of redemption Man would need so that we can receive the love He so freely gives.

There’s this song called “So Will I” by Hillsong United and in it, there’s a part that goes:

“And as You speak. A hundred billion failures disappear. Where You lost Your life so I could find it here. If You left the grave behind You, so will I.”

That’s a hard legacy to live up to and a harder path to follow. I’ve died so many times, that I can no longer count. And sometimes I ask myself, what did I die to? My sin? My idols? My pride? Perhaps the reason why I keep asking the questions, falling on my face and constantly brushing the dirt off my body is because I wonder if I’m dying to the wrong things, instead of the things that will result in life.

When Jesus gave His life for us, it was in the desire to see that we would die to ourselves, so that we may live. Truly live.  I have failed so many times, and yet because of a loving God and a redemptive Son, a hundred billion failures disappear.


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